Are you an askhole?
(Someone who always asks for advice but never takes it)
I get it. But ...
Weight Loss Isn't About Knowing the Answers.
It's About Living Them.
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AS FEATURED IN:
The Story
Everyone knows how to lose weight. Intellectually, we all know. Eat when you're hungry, and stop when you're no longer hungry. Drink your water; get your sleep. Stand up occasionally. And as much as possible, make decisions ahead of time. Right, but um, knowing isn't doing.
Problem: You know what to do, but you just aren't doing it consistently.
Screenwriting Stage: Refusal of the Call
Solution: Identify the specific inner resistance using step-by-step MRI Worksheet
Carrie Fisher as Marie in When Harry Met Sally. When we meet Marie, she’s telling her friends that she's just found a receipt in her boyfriend's pocket for a dining room table he just bought with his wife. Maybe he's never going to leave his wife? “So what else is new? You’ve known this for two years.” And then the famed words she utters four times throughout the film, the words of askholes everywhere, "You're right. You're right. I know you're right."
Like Marie in When Harry Met Sally, most of us know what to do, but we have an inner resistance that keeps us tethered to the familiar. In screenwriting and story, this stage is coined The Refusal of the Call. That is, a Hero Refuses the Journey because of fears and insecurities that have surfaced from the Call to Adventure. The Hero is not willing to make changes, preferring the safe haven of the Ordinary World. Change can be scary, but it can feel easier when you know you're going through it with someone who'll tell you the hard truths and never give up on you. That's where I come in.
I don't want to live like this.
I wanted to wear something backless, sleeveless, short without thinking of cellulite or rolls.
I wanted to be excited when an invitation arrived, eager to wear something cute, to see people I haven’t seen in a while. Not to dread invitations, knowing they'd be thinking, "She looks fatter."
I didn't want to always be the one sweating in the shade, dressed in slimming black, at the dreaded pool party because I was too embarrassed to remove the coverup and be seen in a bathing suit.
I was fed up with feeling anxious when I looked in my closet, when the nurse asked me to step on the scale, when my doctor reviewed my blood results.
You think you’re not good enough, no matter what success you achieve in other areas of your life, because there’s this shadow of your weight.
You are tired of being the heaviest most out of shape person in the room.
You hate the way you look in photos, especially that double chin.
You notice yourself observing people always through the filter of “Do I look as big as her?” Or “Do I look like that from behind?” or “Am I thinner or bigger than her?” Even if you’re not comparing, you’ve got the body-size filter on your lens, no matter the occasion. You could be at a ballet recital for your kid, and you’re thinking, my arms are the other white meat.
Wanting your socks not to leave a line, the bow to be on the top of the shoe, to walk down the aisle without having to turn to the side to get through, no airplane seatbelt extender, your rings to fit again, to take up less space in a chair, for clothes to fit comfortably without the bulge, without the sticking and gaps.
To participate freely, to live a long life full of vitality, to be there for the big moments in life.
“In the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady. But for some reason, you are behaving like the best friend… You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life for God’s sake!" —The Holiday
All diets get boring af.
At some point, the act of losing weight stops being a sport. The honeymoon phase ends. It stops being the shiny new thing. We can't just wake up and decide we're going to eat healthfully. We actually need to do it, consistently. And stop waiting to feel like it. But, what if we could actually make it fun?
Weight cocky, it's a thing.
I used to feel hopeful that I’d made it through the first three days of whatever diet it was. Then the diet seemed easier. “Hey, I can do this!”I’d feel proud of myself for doing what my mind was urging me to. I respected myself more and wanted less. “I will not fail at this” became my mantra, and I believed it. But after a few weeks of success, I’d slip into my old ways, thinking I was immune to weight gain. And whoops, there it is.
The Solution
I used to feel hopeful that I’d made it through the first three days ofwhatever diet it was. Then the diet seemed easier. “Hey, I can do this!”I’d feel proud of myself for doing what my mind was urging me to. Irespected myself more and wanted less. “I will not fail at this” becamemy mantra, and I believed it. But after a few weeks of success, I’d slipinto my old ways, thinking I was immune to weight gain.
If a diet requires a cheat day, you’re setting yourself up to fail.
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I once ate 5 protein bars in one sitting. I've eaten out of a garbage can–like, in my home, not off the street. I still sometimes look down at my plate and wonder who ate my food. I used to be a size 18. Now I'm a size 4. Biggest change I made? My three favorite words: "Oh, how interesting." Shifting out of judgment into the role of the compassionate witness not only immediately takes you out of your suffering, but it's also the fastest way to rebound from a setback.
AUTHOR. SPEAKER. REDHEAD.
I grew up wanting to be Orphan Annie, singing on my front lawn about rejection. Then I spent the next two decades being rejected, which lead to my writing books about rejection. Speaking across the country about rejection. All my work is dedicated to freeing us from our defeatist beliefs. Integrity, candor, and compassion are my primary values in all that I do.
I believe my strengths are my willingness to be honest, no matter how small or ugly it looks; my boldness or courage, the engine behind my honesty, the fuel that empowers me to be authentic; and the wisdom I gain from my curiosity. I’m not the fourth wise man or anything, but my God, am I introspective. I learn a lot, and what I learn, I like to share. I’m generous with my information. That’s my act of service. I offer advice, I share my own stories, and believe that ultimately people find their own path, but hopefully they get there a little quicker (or with less unnecessary suffering) because of something I’ve shared that stuck.
Lose the Clock.
Grab the Compass.
straight up and dirty by stephanie klein
“It’s about abandoning your stupid wristwatch and giving your compass a flick to make sure the needle still moves…having the courage to follow in the direction to which it points.” When we listen to the clock, we're relying on external cues, but when you tap into your internal compass—despite what society tells us we should do—you unlock your power and get unstuck faster. It's all about integrity.
Weight Loss Isn't About Knowing the Answers. It's About Living Them.
moose by stephanie klein
“I didn’t want to hear it anymore. Move more. Eat less. Burn more calories than you take in. Gee, thanks. That’s so helpful. I already knew to eat clean and listen to my body, to only eat when I was in a calm mental state. Everyone knew. But when you’re fat in the head, it’s never about knowing the answers. It’s about living them.”
STEPHANIE KLEIN HAS ALSO BEEN FEATURED IN:
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I'd struggled with my weight my whole life.
Been There. Penned a Memoir about That.
Having spent five summers at Fat Camp and seeing a nutritionist since I was eight years old, I thought I was destined to always be fat. "It's in my genes. If I was meant to be thin, I would've been born that way." If I continued to believe that story, I'd keep living it. Instead, I edited the script and wrote a new one.
Read an excerpt of Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp >>
“It [Moose] combines the classic misery-at-summer-camp story with the lengths we’ll go to get thin.”
–USA Today
“The memoir, which mixes painful revelations with amusing anecdotes, teems with details, like the sixth-grade Spanish class in which the teacher told students to identify themselves as fat or thin.” –The New York Times
“Candid . . . inspiring . . . With vivid characterizations, spot-on locale descriptions and sly jokes at her own expense, Klein offers an original and touching take on the all-too-common problem of childhood obesity.” –Kirkus Reviews
“Long acclaimed for the sharp and witty insights on her personal blog, StephanieKlein.com, writer Stephanie Klein has now released her second book, Moose, a hilarious and heart-wrenching memoir recounting her adolescent experiences at fat camp.” –Women’s Day
I've Spent Over 10,000 Hours with Thousands of Clients
Something short goes here about honing techniques through learning writing techniques then applying to achieving goals. I have no idea what that means, but it goes here.
Don't Let Your Mouth Write a Check
That Your Ass Can't Cash.
In other words, learn how to only commit to things you're 90% sure you can do. Stop over-committing and shoulding all over yourself. Download the free guide to learn the 5 secrets to effortless integrity and consistency and get started today:
